Have you tried turning it off and on again?
by copper-28
Summary: Gene's broken his computer. Who better to fix it than Moss and Roy! Ashes/IT crowd. Will move on from IT after a few chapters.


**Have you tried turning it off and on again?**

"Why won't these bloody things ever work?" Gene growled to no-one in particular, thudding the computer with his fists.

"Why don't you call the techno-twats guv?" Ray inquired, looking up from a case file.

"Why don't you try turning it off and on again?" Alex asked, leaning slightly over her desk to peer into Gene's office, knowingly driving him mad.

"I can't even get the thing to turn on. Let alone turn it back off again. It's better off used as a paper weight anyway. Piece of shit." Gene grumbled.

Alex giggled, getting up to stroll over to his office. She lent against the door, fiddling absent-mindedly with her pens.

"Anything I can do you for, Bols?" Gene asked, looking up from pounding the computer. Alex grinned, shaking her head.

"Friad not guv. You should call them though. Whats the point in having a computer-"

"There isn't." Gene interrupted. Alex rolled her eyes and continued, "-that doesn't work? Roy and Moss I think their names are."

"I don't give a toss what their names are, so long as they can get this crap to work."

"Must you be so bloody rude?" She growled. Gene smiled one of his rare smiles.

"Of course. How else am I ment to annoy you?"

Alex shook her head, turning to leave Genes office. Chris appered at the door, smiling sheepishly.

"Sorry ma'am, guv. Did you want Roy and Moss to take a look at that?" He asked, nodding towards the battered looking computer. Gene raised his eyebrows, leaning back in his chair.

"Oh, you know these techno-twats do you Chris?"

Chris frowned, "Yes guv. Why?"

Alex turned to glare at Gene. Wanting to avoid an argument, Gene desided against making a remark.

"No reason Chris. Get them down."

Chris nodded, striding away to fetch his friends. Ray looked again from his case file that Alex was sure was from two years ago.

"Could stick them in that line-up guv. Needed two more blokes didn't we?"

Gene smirked. "We do Raymondo, nice thinking."

"Don't terrify them for Gods sake." Alex groaned.

"Oh shut up woman, you ruin all our fun." Gene complained, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Alex whipped round, turning to face him.

"For your information, guv, I happen to think about other peoples feelings and don't enjoy taking the piss and scareing the shit out of the bloody techno-twats!" Alex shouted, spinning on her heel to finally exit the office, coming face to face with Roy and Moss.

Roy smiled slightly, "Hi. We're the techno-twats."

Alex froze. "Shit, I'm sorry.. I didn't.. I.. sorry." She stammered, backing yet again into Genes office. She glared furiously at the smug look on his face. She leant against the filing cabinet, promising herself she wouldn't say another word.

Moss nodded seriously. "Don't worry. We get it all the time." He told her, glancing at Roy. Gene grunted, flicking his hand out towards the computer.

"So what's wrong with this lump?" He growled. Roy nervously shuffled into the office, carefully watching Genes every move. Alex bit back a laugh, holding her breat in preparation, knowing exactly what Gene was going to do. The guv exploded from his seat, "Want me to move so you can get a better look?" He bellowed at the smaller man. Roy lept back, a yelp escaping his lips, "Yes Mr Hunt, sir!" He whimpered, darting round Gene to glue himself to the computer. Alex placed a hand over her mouth, faking a coughing fit , earning herself a sly grin from Gene and a cold stare from Moss.

Ray sniggered, turning to Chris, raising his eyebrows. Chris shook his head.

"Don't laugh. Roy's well alright. He's really funny once you get to know him." Shaz strolled past their desks, some files tucked under her arm.

"Exactly Chris. Just because he doesn't cope well under the guv doesn't mean he's a poof Ray." Ray sighed, plonking the case file, that was actually just hiding his magazine, onto his desk.

"Yeah, yeah." He grumbled, glancing into Genes crowded office. "Shh a sec. I wanna hear what happens!" Shaz couldn't help but smile as she walked away to her desk. There was something very amusing about the way Gene terrorised everyone in the building.

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?" Moss asked Gene. Gene sighed, walking over to where Alex was leaning on the cabinet.

"I don't think he knows how!" Alex laughed, nudging Gene in the ribs playfully.

"Cheeky Mare!" Gene growled, "Just turn it on." He instructed Roy. Roy nodded, flicking the switch. Nothing happened.

"Are you sure it's plugged in?" He asked cautiously.

Gene shrugged. "No."

Roy nodded again, "Okay…" He ducked under the desk, swiftly plugging the computer in. After a few groans the computer started up, only to plunge itself back into darkness.

"What the…?" Roy frowned, gently tapping the monitor.

"Oh for Christ's sake." Gene rumbled, stepping over to the screen, smacking it so hard it skidded half way across the desk.

Moss shrugged. Roy seemed to be getting on okay by himself. He tunred and left the office, walking over to Chirs and Ray.

"Hello, Chris."

Chris smiled. "Hey Moss. This is Ray." Chris nodded over to Ray. Ray just nodded back.

"Hello Ray." Moss greeted him, pulling over a chair to sit with Chris while he waited for Roy to finish.

Roy jumped, his eye widening at the amount of power Gene possessed.

"Umm, let me just look at the back of it." Roy suggested, spinning the monitor round. He raised his eyebrows, "Do you smoke Mr Hunt?"

Gene frowned. "Yes, why? Don't tell me its not good for the bloody computer."  
"Well it is and it isn't. Smoking around the computer, that's fine. Using it as an ashtray…. That's not so fine. "

"Right. Bugger." Alex laughed, striding out of Genes office and plonking herself back at her desk.


End file.
